I Don't Know How 2 Do This Weight Loss Thing...

....I can't seem to stay motivated. Not even the fact that my health is failing fast has helped me keep it together. I just fall deeper into my depression and more secured to the couch. I rearranged my schedule for next semester (school). By becoming more active during day hours, it may be easier to incorporate an exercise plan into my schedule. There's a weight lifting class at the "Y". That will be Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I haven't decided if I will do the 8-9 class or the 9:15-10:15 class.I'd also like to start running. I found a guide online that shows you how to run 30 mins straight in 10 weeks; however, since I'm very sedentary I will add 2 weeks of walking before I get into the running portion. I'm trying to enlist my good friend in this scheme of mine. That would help me a lot if I had a buddy. We could push each other when one feels like slacking. I decided that I will break my goal down into 15lb increments. Again, I don't know. Is that 2 ambitious. Every Thursday morning I watch this show called "Weighing In" and they set weight loss goals of 15-30lbs in 90 days. That seems kind of slow...I know you're suppose to loose at a rate of 1-2lbs per week...I know everyone is different. I'm heavy so I know in the beginning I will loose fast then level off...God willing I can stick to the plan this time around. I tell myself that I would like to be between 167-152lbs, but honestly I'd like to be at whatever weight that will allow me to wear a size 10/12.





Weight Goals

♥ January - 272
♥ February - 257
♥ March - 242
♥ April - 227
♥ May - 212
♥ June - 197
♥ July - 182
♥ August - 167
♥ September - 152










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Day Sixteen

Today is day sixteen of my supposed diet. I have been doing very very poorly. My heart is just not in it. Today I wrote out schedule for the week. I'm hoping this will help the cause. I didn't weigh myself today. I forgot and by the time I thought about it, it was very late in the day, and had eaten 2 meals already. I will weigh myself tomorrow. I'm sure I'm at the same weight or more. I may have to re-think my goals....I dunno, we shall see.

Day Nine

The week has still been sort of trying, but better than last. I am grateful for that at least. I have a ton of reading a homework to catch up on by Thursday. I can't bring myself to open my books even. On the diet front....well I could have done a whole lot better than I did. I did way too much emotional eating. I cheated 3 days this week. I did manage to drop 3lbs. I'd been going to kickboxing, so I'm sure the physical activity kept my metabolism going. All I can do is do better this up coming week. I really should start journaling my food intake. Doing that ususally keeps me on track. I also want to step up the exercise. Right now I'm only working out 2 days a week. I'd like to add 2 more days for a total of 4. Then from there I'd like to up it to 6 days until I hit my goal weight.

Once AGAIN here are my measurements:

Waist - 48.5 in
Bust - 49 in
Hips - 51 in
Arms - 16 in (lt and rt)
Thighs - 30.5 (lt and rt)
Calves - 17 in (lt and rt)

Milestones

♣Sweetest Day - 280 lbs
♣Anniversary - 260 lbs
♣Christmas - 235 lbs
♣My Birthday - 210 lbs






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New Start

Well I'm back. I really need to get myself together. I've been doing nothing but slacking off since my last update in May. I've gained 12 lbs! NOT GOOD! Between being stressed, and trying to go to school the pounds have begun to pack on. So I decided to re-commit myself to loosing weight. To date I'm 186 lbs...YUCK! I have a very aggressive weight loss goal of at least 25 lbs by November 10th. I ordered NutriSystem. I only have 5 weeks worth of meals. I'll decide whether to order more after that time. It sort of costly...well costly for someone that doesn't have a job...LOL! I'm looking for a jump start. I don't know what to do to get myself motivated. I don't want to do anything but sit around the house and sleep. I have no energy nor the desire to do anything. I'm barely making it in school...in regards to keeping the motivation. I'm afraid I'm going to fail. I don't know how to break out of this depression. I've never been so sad in my entire life. Sometimes I moments and/or a short stretch of time where I feel like I'm making a breakthrough. But then BAM! Something happens, or someone reminds me of my hurt...and I spiraling again. I been like this for well over a year now...and nothing has changed. How does one even break a cycle like this?

Day - Who Knows?!?! I Fell Off The Weight Loss Wagon!

Well I'm back....I lot has happened since I last blogged. First of all I was going thru radiation treatment for throat cancer and so far things are looking good for the home team. Because I couldn't eat for so long, I lost a total of 40lbs! I did however gain 5 - 7 lbs back. Which I was expecting once I started eating normally again. So let just share what's been going on. Since 40lbs isn't enough, I decided to continue to pursue the Lap Band. I had taken all the test, and was ready for approval when BAM! All of a sudden I have cancer. But now I have permission to continue on with my weight loss efforts. Also, I am going back to school. I'm will be pursing my bachelors in business, and working on my MBA at the same time. All thanks to a lovely eccelerated program at a near by university. I'm on my way to getting my life back on track. It has been an extremely rough year and a half. I've got all obstacles (at least for now) out of my way. My lil baby son is more beautiful than ever. He's getting so so big. I can't believe how time flies. He will be one in August. I look forward to the good life with my son, close friends, and whom ever else willing to truly love and be loved by us.

Above are the first before and after pics. God willing there will be more in the near future....LOL!

Day Sixty-Four

Wow...I haven't been to my blog here in a very long time! In my past post I mentioned that I wasn't feeling all that hot due to the radiation treatments. It's been 2 weeks since the radiation ended, and I'm still not 100% but better. I have endured a lot physically and mentally. I'm still trying to work through all this pain that I've experienced. It's slow going but I think I'm making progress. I want to thank all my friends who have been there for me and never once thought about leaving my side. THANK YOU...I LOVE YOU!

The bright side of this radiation business is that I lost a much needed 40 lbs and a few inches. Woo Hoo! I'm still not at my fighting weight, but I am at my pre-pregnancy weight. I guess you gotta start somewhere. The new stats are:

Weight: 272

Bust: 47.5 in. (one and half inches lost)

Arms: 17 in. (three quarter inches lost)

Waist: 47 in. (five inches lost)

Hips: 51 in. (two inches lost)

Thighs: 30.5 in. (one inch lost)

Calves: 18.5 (no change)


As my throat heals I'll be able to eat more. I don't want to go overboard. And gain all the weight back. I'd like to use this weight loss as a spring board to get to my goal weight. Plus I'm hoping to be able to exercise. I've had no energy to workout. I was on one of those mommy message boards and there was a lady that claimed she has been using Windsor Pilates (there's an infomercial on late at nite) and in the first month of consistant use and healthy eating she lost a total of 14 inches from her body. I happen to have a Windsor Pilate DVD that I bought at Target and never used....LOL. So I'm going to give it a try. Even if I only lost 2 or 3 inches, that would be better than nothing. I have almost a whole wardrobe of clothing that has never been worn in my closet. It would be nice to wear it before it's no longer in style.

Day Forty-One

I slept the entire day away! It was a combination of not feeling well and boredom. My baby is visiting his father until Monday. When he's gone...I have a lot of free time. Can I just say that I am so over radiation. Just let it be done already!!!! I want to get rid of my trach. I feel like its keeping me from living my life. I don't feel comfortable going out with it. I run errands and stuff, but as far as being in social setting....NO! All I do is cough ALL DAY and spew mucus (sorry...too much information). I can't sleep comfortably with it. I'm loosing my mind. I just want to scream!

Today I had tuna made with sandwich spread, mayo, and jalepeno yellow mustard. I didn't have much, because my family insists on eating up everything I make. The killining part is that my father grilled steak and chicken. I can't eat/swallow either one of those things. So why on earth would you eat the little food I can tolerate! But I digress....I also, had Motts mango-peach sauce, and a sugar free dreamsicle.