New Start

Well I'm back. I really need to get myself together. I've been doing nothing but slacking off since my last update in May. I've gained 12 lbs! NOT GOOD! Between being stressed, and trying to go to school the pounds have begun to pack on. So I decided to re-commit myself to loosing weight. To date I'm 186 lbs...YUCK! I have a very aggressive weight loss goal of at least 25 lbs by November 10th. I ordered NutriSystem. I only have 5 weeks worth of meals. I'll decide whether to order more after that time. It sort of costly...well costly for someone that doesn't have a job...LOL! I'm looking for a jump start. I don't know what to do to get myself motivated. I don't want to do anything but sit around the house and sleep. I have no energy nor the desire to do anything. I'm barely making it in school...in regards to keeping the motivation. I'm afraid I'm going to fail. I don't know how to break out of this depression. I've never been so sad in my entire life. Sometimes I moments and/or a short stretch of time where I feel like I'm making a breakthrough. But then BAM! Something happens, or someone reminds me of my hurt...and I spiraling again. I been like this for well over a year now...and nothing has changed. How does one even break a cycle like this?