Day Forty-One

I slept the entire day away! It was a combination of not feeling well and boredom. My baby is visiting his father until Monday. When he's gone...I have a lot of free time. Can I just say that I am so over radiation. Just let it be done already!!!! I want to get rid of my trach. I feel like its keeping me from living my life. I don't feel comfortable going out with it. I run errands and stuff, but as far as being in social setting....NO! All I do is cough ALL DAY and spew mucus (sorry...too much information). I can't sleep comfortably with it. I'm loosing my mind. I just want to scream!

Today I had tuna made with sandwich spread, mayo, and jalepeno yellow mustard. I didn't have much, because my family insists on eating up everything I make. The killining part is that my father grilled steak and chicken. I can't eat/swallow either one of those things. So why on earth would you eat the little food I can tolerate! But I digress....I also, had Motts mango-peach sauce, and a sugar free dreamsicle.

Day Forty

I've been gone for a while. I'm going to try and be better about keeping track of my weight loss progress. This past Thursday was weigh day. I'm down 2lbs. I'm glad that I've been consistant. I still haven't got on the exercise bandwagon. Honestly I haven't really been feeling all that great physically. I'm still feeling drained, and my throat is raw. Eating and drinking is very frustrating. One late night I was watching an infomercial for Windsor Pilates. I was very excited to see all those successs stories....of course that is the goal so that you will buy the product. However, I have a Windsor Pilates set I bought from Target last year. I'm going to pull it out and try it. Supposedly in one month I should have noticibly lost some inches. Wish me luck.

On Thursday I took my son to the mall to take pictures together. They came out a lot nicer than I expected. Even though I did do some retakes after the first proofs were done. The second batch was cool. Pictures with Tyler was one of my goal gifts for loosing 20lbs. The next gift to myself will be make-up. While I was waiting for my pictures to develop, I went into the MAC store and played with a little make-up. I found lots of goodies I'd like to buy! I Think that will happen when I hit the 40lbs weighloss mark. Only 13 more lbs to go.

On the menu today was: 2 sugarfree dreamsicles, 2 no sugar added Motts (granny smith) applesause containers, and about 6oz of tuna made with sandwich spread, low fat mayo, sweet relish, jalepeno yellow mustard, and a lot of tea. I probably should have eaten more but my throat just can't take it.

Day Thirty-Three

No exercise. I still have no energy. Today I slept from 8:30am to 1pm. Almost right up until the time I have to leave for the hospital. I didn't even eat until 5pm. I'm sure that's not good. I had baked potato soup with cheese, and some cream of broccoli and cheese soup.

I decided to reward my 25lb lost with taking a pic with my son. I have none of me and him together except, at the time I delivered him. Trust me I wasn't looking the greatest...LOL I'm also trying to decide whether or not to give rewards to myself in 25lbs increments. That's sounds good right? I was thinking when I loose 50 I will buy myself all new make-up. It's time to start pampering myself again. It's hard though. This depression really has a hold on me.

Day Thirty-One

Today wasn't any better than yesterday. Still no walking. I angry with myself for being so lazy. Tomorrow is weigh day and I wanted to see some more gone.

I spent a much needed evening at the salon. I got my hair washed and flat ironed...oh and my eybrows arched. Now I don't look so schlumpy. I wanted to go shopping for some much needed item. But my ex was so kind to inform me (after I tracked him down) that he would have any money until tomorrow. Gee thanks for letting me know. Pay days are the 1st and the 15th. So how did I get to go to the salon you ask??? The owner happens to be a friend and she offered to do my hair for free, after I had called and tried to cancel. I'm am so grateful for good friends.

On the menu today: baked potato soup with cheese, applesauce, peach mago sauce, and cup of noodles soup (big mistake painful).